Last Thursday, Kamala Harris – if current polls are to be believed, the next President of the United States of America and thus the leader of the free world and therefore the main strategic foe of President Putin – announced: “I’ve talked to my team. I want us to get an interview scheduled before the end of the month.”
US. She said US. And that’s the truth: for the entity finally doing the interview will not be Kamala Harris but her “team” of speech coaches, psychiatrists, psychologists and stylists, whose purpose is turn her into a glove puppet that will repeat the platitudes that they have rivet-driven into her brain. But naturally, at the very first opportunity, she blew her cover with that US.
So, she is just plain dumb. This is an American word, from the German, dummkopf, which doesn’t mean stupid, because most stupid people usually know that they’re stupid. It means stupid to an irredeemable and ineducable degree. She cannot be made unstupid. Cramming her head with the answers prepared by her “team” to bat back at the questions thrown at her “before the end of the month,” (and no sooner: after all, she’s only had nearly four years as VP), will not do the trick. Even if the team put all their hands up her backside and synchronously guided her tongue with kite-strings, her utter dummkopfness would still triumph. Why? Because she’d immediately open her mouth, declare those things you see aren’t strings but dental floss, next question please.
I kept asking myself: who does she remind me of? Then it dawned: a girl I knew in first year university, joining all the right clubs and societies (dramsoc, natch), laughing loudly at alpha-students’ jokes, trying to catch everyone’s eye, identifying and needily joining the in-crowd, soon learning who was worth cultivating and worth ignoring, and throughout. desperately, desperately, trying. The poor thing had no idea who she was.
That’s Kamala Harris. She’s missing the identity gene, and not because of her mixed parentage: Barak Obama had mixed parentage, and he knew precisely who he was (an egomaniac, as it happens). Harris is the opposite, and now, quite pathetically, speaking in tongues, which she most certainly did not get from her Indian endocrinologist mother, a well-spoken product of the Raj, or her father, an urbane and polished Jamaican scholar and later Stanford Professor of Economics, whose top-drawer Ph D was supervised by the Nobel Prize winner Daniel McFadden.
Harris has recently been road-testing some accents that she certainly never got either from them or her privileged background in California and Montreal, as in: ‘We have fun doin’ hard work,’ In Atlanta, having just acquired some r-less southernisms, she intoned: “Y’all helped us in 2020 and we gon’ do it again in twenty twenty faw.” She had earlier told a largely black audience: ‘Girl, I’m out here in these streets,’ then neatly eliding the verb when describing conservatives; ‘They not like us.’
That right, girl: they not phoney.
Had she not been a Democrat, the media wasps would long since stung her to death, not just for the verbal-minestrone that she endlessly regurgitates whenever off-script, but for her record as well. When she was deputy district attorney for Alameda County California, she had a brief affair (she 29, he 60) with the California Assembly Speaker, Willie Brown, who rather decently topped up her salary by $400,000 over five years (on merit only, of course). Her record as the District Attorney for San Francisco has certainly attracted some praise, but then the intellectual and administrative standards of public servants in California are pretty low. She made a point of chasing the parents of habitual school-truants, but only in the majority public sector: she left alone those in the 10% private sector, in which she of course had been educated.
Her make-over since Joe Biden disappeared over the event-horizon has been matched by the media’s comparable removal of the attempted assassination of Donald Trump from virtually all public memory. Yet a year ago, the media were vilifying her as an inept buffoon. ‘In the eyes of voters, if there is anyone more incompetent than President Biden it is his VP,’ said the (Republican) pollster James Johnson last September. ‘Frankly, this is one of the most brutal word clouds we have ever run. From “incompetent” to “worthless,” the public have written off Kamala Harris…’
This was across the board. One in four black voters wanted Biden to choose someone else to be his running mate as did most 18-29-year-olds. Biden had of course appointed her as the Border Czar, a job she discharged by promptly discharging herself of all responsibility. When accused of never even visiting the Border she replied, “Well I’ve never been to Europe either,” followed (of course) by her trademark laugh, which sounds like cross between a hyena’s hysterical cackle and a she-camel having the mother of all orgasms. This is not why she is called Kamala, by the way: Kamala is genuinely her birth-name, though it seems to have acted like a predictive curse upon her, her laugh, the USA and soon possibly the entire world.
For the rest of August, she presumably will be going through the Manchurian Candidate Finishing school, which will surgically remove her laugh-organs and excise any ambition to be amusing, while transplant-specialists will try to graft the ingredients of stateswomanship – no, not pretty, is it? – onto her, which is rather like glueing little wings onto a bathyscape and calling it a drone.
There are at least a million American women who are better qualified to be the first female sitting in the oval office (not including those who dutifully squirmed on Bill Clinton’s lap). The concept of her becoming PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES is a dream too terrible ever to be true, yet it is possible because the lickspittle, abject and most all lying media want it to be so, and anyone who criticises her is clearly a racist and a misogynist.
And also, she is faced by Donald Trump, a bully, a loud-mouthed liar and a compulsive fantasist who is apparently unable to speak a single grammatically-correct sentence. But he did build a skyscraper in New York, which is nearly as difficult as getting a submarine into the nimbus. Viktor Orban was probably right when he said that had Trump been President, Putin would never have sent his tanks into Ukraine because the Russian leader would have had absolutely no idea of how Trump in the White House would react. He knew full well what the Biden-Harris team would do to prevent it: exactly what they did on the Mexican Border.
When Harris was an attorney general in California, she declared: ‘A more visible and strategic police presence is a deterrent to crime and it has a positive impact on a community.” When in 2020 Black Lives Matter rioters were burning scores of US cities, murdering at least forty people, destroying Trump’s presidency and costing many billions of dollars, she said: ‘For too long the status quo thinking is that you get more safety by putting more cops in the street, well that’s wrong,’ Later, when asked how she was going to tackle inflation, she solemnly replied that inflation made things more expensive and she was going to take it very seriously indeed.
Wow. Stunning. And no less than you’d expect from the daughter of an internationally-acclaimed economics professor tutored by a Nobel prize winner.
So who is she? What is she? Is she even human? Or is she a North Korean robot whose batteries are set to expire on January 7, 2025, to be replaced by Tim Walz, whose batteries come to a halt 24 hours later, followed by a North Korean nuclear strike on January 9th, and bye bye Nebraska? Yet the election of this preposterous Bugs Bunny cartoon character is a certainty if the polls keep going the way they have been, if the media stick to their usual lies and if the Manchurian Candidate School of Dummkopfness-Concealment manages to achieve what would be the electoral equivalent of making a gossamer-lined silk purse out of the carbuncular scrotum of a fossilised warthog.
The alternative is, of course, Trump.
Thank you, God. Thank you very much indeed.
Kevin Myers is an Irish journalist, author and broadcaster. He has reported on the wars in Northern Ireland, where he worked throughout the 1970s, Beirut and Bosnia.
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